Dear Abby: A man’s trust in his ex-wife should be a sign to his current girlfriend.

Dear Abby: I have been dating “Pete” for eight months. He has been divorced for 15 years. He has two adult children and five grandchildren with his ex-wife, “Linda,” who remains an important person in Pete’s life. They text throughout the day and enjoy doing things with Linda’s husband.

Pete is having a major operation soon. He has informed me that his daughter and Linda will be in the hospital and that only two guests are allowed per patient. I have tried to explain to him that I am uncomfortable with Linda being such an important person in his life and that it hurts me that he doesn’t include me on his outings. He turns the tables and asks me what I want him to do about it. He says it’s my problem, not his.

I care about Pete, but I’m getting fed up. Should I throw in the towel or stick it out, hoping he’ll see my side of the story?

— Insignificant in the Midwest

Dear Insignificant: Since Pete thinks that accepting his priorities is your problem, not his, it’s unlikely that he’ll ever accept your point of view. The problem seems to be that he doesn’t consider you a couple, and since he doesn’t consider you a couple, his family doesn’t consider you a couple either. By now, you should have been included in those “outings” with Linda and her husband.

Nowhere in your letter do you mention any of the sweet, thoughtful, loving things Pete does for you. Because of that, and because (after eight months) he hasn’t managed to carve out a spot on your hospital visit list, it may be time to throw in the towel.

Previously

Dear Abby: Divorce is not the solution when the husband does not solve a simple problem; the wife should intervene

Dear Abby: Should I hire a private detective to follow my husband, a widowed neighbor?

Dear Abby: Any suggestions? I am desperate because of my husband’s sudden personality changes.

See all columns of “Dear Abby”

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069. Copyright 2024, Andrews, McMeel Syndication.